apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
