it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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