i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
