Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
