How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
