Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
