By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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