i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
