Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
