I hate all girls vehemently.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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