i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize