I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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