Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize