i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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