i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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