I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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