Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
