We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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