No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
