I'm gonna have a badass scar
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
