It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize