The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
