You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
