Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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