Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
