Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...