Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
two words...techno handjob
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.