The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
