Ambien. No doubt about it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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