some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
