Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize