So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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