Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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