I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
