I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
