roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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