There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
