Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Congratulations! We have a period
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
