Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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