It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
