Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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