He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
