You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
