I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize