Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
