Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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