just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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