First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
