I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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