ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There r osticjed everywhere
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
