Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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