no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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