I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
