Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
