If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
