fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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