I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
