Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
