ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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