I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
