i think i have herpe
just one?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
