btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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